its been a rough go since 2013. Cleaned up cooked her and the kids dinner and then put them to bed. I did offer that he gets help but of course it was nothing wrong with him. Now . Help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. He created us & gave us a plan to follow (bible). It is the hardest thing I ever been through. I am going through another divorce with my business partner, she will be leaving my office October . 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. I have just seen her going into the guys house that she had the affair with.. Six months that I have been paying for my choice through reduced access to my most amazing children ever. You will probably find things thaT you might enjoy to do that you could not do before. They would go to the same school dances. I was there for him when he was at his lowest point. Hes in his mid 40s and literally has nothing, his mommy and daddy are still paying his way and completly enabling him to behave this way. He works out of town so at the moment 2 weeks on 1 week home it was his first time to that site and it was coming to the end of the 2 weeks one day he was telling me couldnt wait to come home and see me he missed me so much couldnt live without me, very next day found out he was leaving me for another girl that he works with and was just cold cold cold. Really sucks actually knowing it was never a mistake or anything like that. And he had started the attitude of battering , after unsuccessful attempts to control the situation, I reported to his mother and that worsen the situation. I'm not more overwhelmed by my life than I was when I was still in my marriage. I have done so much for her. It was a struggle. Instead of focusing on yourself, try to understand what is behind his decision. She should not know what your settlement is.she is waiting for it. we just chose our own path & wonder why 2 sinners cant make it together. It's OK To Fake It A Little After Your Husband Leaves. Not only for our child but because I love her deeply. I asked him why is he doing this and all he can say was that he hasnt been happy. I just want some kind of advice i feel like there is no reason to live anymore How are things going now? MGTOW all the way Baby. Three years ago, when Carol Moffa divorced her husband after, she says, putting up with a lot of "crap" over the years, she was downright scared. Since I found out he always shuts me down/pushes me away. For his mothers birthday I baked and cooked all night and day. He us definitely a narcissist. Emotionless and distant. I was not an angel but I dont think I deserve the treatment Im receiving. this feels like a nightmare for me and its hard for me to cope with on a daily basis. They CAN modify with proper treatment and overcome IF they are willing to work their treatment regime. If those people were true friends they would tell them that what they are doing or have done is wrong . You can follow her on Instagram here. My wife wanting me to be happy is tormenting. Even after this I still love/loved him, but I had no idea what to do or how to proceed. I should wasnt revenge for my pain, but I dont. She had no problems telling me that she was moving out to her nieces. In fact, sometimes he can seem to be downright miserable. How can this possibly be dealt with? Everything I am not!! Recently we tried to get this back but he does not find me attractive although I am slim, fit and look young for my age. Please help I feel like Im drowning and dont know how to protect my kids from the pain they will feel, I feel horrible for you, this is going to be a very hard time but youre going to have to focus on the kids. He was very excited on Friday regarding his news that two lots became available and was texting me of how excited he was. See a priest. My eldest 10. Are we supposed to stay through that too? im a btech graduate n 23yr old and.my clasmate is.my wife aswathi she is 22,and I love my wife,and i love her for what she has given for me she made me feel the thing that everyone calls thelove at 1st sight and she give me lot of love love during.our studies n now suddenly she has taken away all that love n care and i love the pain she giving to me right now by staying away for the last 5 months,i just.love her even if she hate me because now i know what i have lost. Well the doctor she was working with was giving her Vicodin, and soma, she also was getting zanax and other pills from doctor. Im not sure, I was available to him for conversation,I very rarely went out because I work multiple jobs simultaneously, take care of the kids and the house. But I give. The older teen will be an adult in just over a year and I am hoping her role as caregiver does not distract her from studies or delay college. I want to be his wife and be with him always and he just left. When I cheated on my husband, I might have liked to pretend it was just about sex, but if I was being honest, I knew it wasn't. It's not always about the other person. All 3 girls are Daddys girls. finally her mom gets ahold of her and she calls me and says I can pick up the girls now. Our problems began about 5 months ago. I begged, texted, emailed.all in the hopes hed realize the mistake me made and come back. it was no joke. And thats not good because he wont want to be with anyone who cant keep her self-respect. And you will get there. Hes 52 years old.its been 2 months of separation. It takes a brave man to walk out on his wife and kids I kept telling him she felt more than friendship. 4 years ago my husband came home and announced he was thinking of divorce. Stay Focused, Pray, Keep Faith and Believe . One of the best ways to help get through something like this is to have someone else to talk to. The simple text messages that said I love you or I miss you meant so much. Below, divorce attorneys and marriage therapists share the most damaging things you can say in a marriage and what you should say to your spouse instead. I am now trying some dating sights.Right away some girl that claimed to live in Texas started e mailing me telling me how she loved me profile and this and that.Anyway i did a background check and found out this young lady lives in the other side of Africa.In Giane.She was trying to tell me that she needed money for documents to come to be with me..Yea right! So as I departed from the US and was not on ground for over 72 hours before we talked and she said she was not renewing the lease and in fact she was getting her own place and putting all my stuff in storage and she wanted to talk to who she wants..go out with who she wants to. Specific treatment for this is very hard to get and expensive. My husband thinks he has depression and has left me. | Mumsnet My divorce is in two weeks. Because you cant fix all of these things, try to understand why he left. She was my everything, my whole reason for being. Then four months later he came back and I got preganant. I told her no more. Very sad and bewildering for those of us in long term relationships. I gave a lot of myself over to my marriage and taking on a lot of stuff trying to be a help mate. You will meet someone who treats you right and then you will forget all about him. I feel like he used me when I was making a lot and now that he has to provide he packs and leave. The last thing you want to do is spend it with a happily married couple or try to entertain your child while you meet your child-free friend for coffee and a chat. (more time is spent telling your child to sit down/stop that/behave). Over the years we had many issues. we were happyhappy for 2 years. Neither of us if ever been unfaithful so far as I know. Here Are 5 Reasons Why Your Husband Refuses To End Your Unhappy Marriage, Even If You're Both Miserable. Always remember that just because the past didn't turn . My wife was on chat rooms after 24 years and told me she is very unhappy Wife of 22 years left 2 weeks ago because she decided she was gay and had reciprocal feelings towards our best female friend. She had forgiven me on every occasion but this recent one, really hit her. Still cant believe after a year and a half of unimaginable pain and recovery, I went back to help. So, i left and walked around, when, i came back, they were not there. We have two children whom are now adults, with the youngest being 18. The devil has taken him or her over but it is up to you to be the bigger person and fight through it. I found a job making less money but I manage. We share same breathe. If its being away from me, then I have no choice but to deal with this sadness. Big time. It puzzles me why I cannot close the chapter on this one. My names James, Im 25. But there isnt anything other than try to focus on your kids. She told me she couldnt do it anymore, and that she no longer loved me as a partner/husband. I dont know how tomtell friends/ the kids, the family. She threatened the same thing back in 2006 but begged to come back when I called her on it. Forgiveness is a choice, and when you make the decision and act on it, the feelings will eventually be there. I have read this article and Im still trying to get my head around my wife wanting to leave me (married 1 year 11 months, together 7 years) for a guy she has only known for a few weeks and I cant understand why she would want this. Kelly, Had a six month affair with my real estate agent next door. Her parents became yet more overpowering towards her and to my kids adding yet more stress. She brings my youngest down in nothing but a soggy wet diaper in freezing winter and my oldest has nothing but shirt shoes and pants. You can keep your self-esteem high by working on yourself and becoming more confident. Respect for you and the marriage: The narcissist will side with others against you, talk behind your back about you, and all the while smile like a Cheshire cat at you. College educated with jobs. I wish you all the best But, when we moved we had to give away everything we owned or sell what we could. Im routing for you 100%! Suffering from Depressing and other sickness as gotten worse for me. Make a list of the things you didnt like about her and your marriage. Abuse should definitely be on the list. I think its midlife crisis. Wow great article. Hello all im still Jon.and yes Im still sad and miserable and confused and lonely.. There had been so many years apart and having four children between the two of us makes moving forward difficult to say the least. When Depressed Husbands Refuse Help. Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and its OK to express grief: Youre grieving the loss of this relationship, what it meant to you, and the role this person played in your life, says Garcia. Inner wisdom can move you forward. Best advice is to not waste your time trying to figure him out or wait from the call because it is true that life is passing you bye while youre waiting for him to prove that he respects you. From my perspective your husband saying that he is not happy could mean several things: 1. She strings me along soo damn well She KNOWS I would give ANYTHING for my wife back, my absolute best friend in the entire world, my everything. We have a routine together. He quit texting me while at work (we have lived together all this time. He speaks animal suffering communication with dead he has completed changed. The mediator couldnt understand why we were getting divorced. I know I must choose what to do because living with this internal struggle is making me sick. I would have been hurt and mad, but I would not have wanted to be with someone who did not want me. I was so in love and i realize it now that shes gone. As a couple, its a very TOXIC relationship , the best one can do is to GET OUT and have NO CONTACT. I have a personality disorder and I know from info I have from my psychiatrist, John Hopkins U and the Mayo Clinic to name a few that personality disorders do have a genetic component. I havent slept in 3 days and eating is very minimal. And if its not normalized that this happens to lots of people, then they will wind up meeting and marrying someone else, and experience this same issue down the road. WHY??? You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. So its interesting that he would say that wasnt good enough for me, that I wasnt there for him all he wanted was for someone to love him and listen to him. Unlike bipolar or schizophrenia, a personality disorder is NOT a chemical imbalance! Just happened? Solicitors dont help you can go to them and tell them anything and they will help you. I asked her to leave after smashing a coffee cup and a lamp. And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. Leave them alone. The whole that used to be my heart was devastated. Sorry this might not be what you want to hear but you have to think of your self do not sacrifice yourself fill yourself up love yourself hold your My wife began threatening me with divorce over little things years ago. I work part time supporting in a school. I love my wife so badly that shes been my go to person for anything in my life. I do not work with but I still make sure everyone in well off. three months ago my husband called me to say he wanted my daughter and I to move out so he can move his girlfriend in. None of these are what God intended for marriage. They feed off your emotions , reel you in with false promises then get off with pumped up ego when you crumble -thinking you couldnt possibly live without their superior super human selves. Hi I have been with my wife for 7 years we dated for 4 years and have been married for 3. I want to leave my husband, and I dont know how to make him understand. But her decision is not deadly. I want to move back to Florida and i just dont think its worth us fighting to save the marriage anymore. So when I went to visit my son and his family he served me with the TRO. People need real information or else they divorce prematurely and they often go on to divorce again and again (more research!). His father, a minister, married us. My job prevented me from being at 4 treatments. Finding that on Facebook is a huge red flag. Im not perfect and have owned and taken responsibility for all my faults but the blame. Certain stresses have even been alleviated. I havent overcome anything yet. And to make things worse I think Im getting addicted to them. But really, act like your all shocked and surprised? Shes moved along with out a blink and I have to start all over again. Remember that God doesnt give us more than we can handle-and he must think that you can handle a lot. She sounds like shes crazy now. My husband left me after going into a two-week-long depression where he wouldnt tell me what was going on. Ive just found out hes been messaging an ex alot but swears only messaging. Still I feel compelled to tell you that I understand. Then last weekend everything changed With regard to Barbis comment, the article is written under the divorce section so I am speaking to people who are completely uncommitted and have left, or the abandoned partner who has no choice in the matter. I have had the same thing happen to me its heartbreaking I know exactly what you are going through stay strong! But Im ready to face her and smile and not give her the satisfaction she thinks she going to get when I see her this Thursday. He had his stuff, his money his problems. The ability to do what they want and when they want. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. It is so heart braking, that I can feel my heart hurt.My husband makes our marriage failure my fault. I will follow this for now. Dont tell her youre hiring a lawyer, and hire one anyway if you need to. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. And I want you to know that its not impossible. She didnt admit the affair part until this week. My ex mistress got me arrested and the charges were dismissed by he stood by her as if I was wrong the judge agreed with me though I was telling the truth. Please send me strength. I put the number in and he had named her 1 of his work mates. I needed his insurance as well. Cheating partners often dont even want to work on saving the relationship or marriage, increasing levels of frustration and hurt. "No!". Every day I feel like Im about to die inside. 10 weeks ago she abandon the whole entire family and moved from Texas to London England to be with him. Hopefully my therapy along with meds will help me survive this horrible time of my life. Are you close with his family? Now he stops communicating with anyone that tries to talk him in to reconciliation. Giving praises, compliments, hugs, kisses and other affections are normal. My wife is leaving me after 24 years and I was great to her and she even admitted it but got bored with me and started treating me terrible. Curious I went out and heard him drop something out of my sight. If you didnt it wouldnt be human. Weve been together just over 5 years and what I thought was happily married for almost 3. I dont even care how she treats me anymore, but its tearing our son up and that is really hard to see, knowing theres little I can do for him. I do love my husband. Peace of mind is what I want. I am disabled and have unique issues that cause stroke like symptoms and memory issues. I am in counseling 1x a week and just started a low dose of a antidepressant pill. Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. I remained strong on the outside and everyone asked how I kept it together, but that doesnt mean it wasnt extremely difficult and the most traumatic experience in my life. He made me feel like it was me, I realized later it was not and can not believe I spent so much time allowing him to make me feel this way. I am now about to head home and face this reality even though I didnt want to . You just have to get there. My wife of 20 years asked me to move out 33 days ago we have 3 kids together two boys 6 and 19 and a 13 year old girl. When they returned she told me shes been unhappy and is leaving me. I would cry all night just waiting for a hug. That happened to a friend of mine and he a lot of her settlement and then spent it and then got divorced and she couldnt get it back. My husbanda and u got married at a very young age, I was 20 and he was 23. it said she was on her way to England and she was never coming back to United States and that she wanted a divorce.just totally out of the blue, everything was normal all the way up to the day she left.she kept everything a secret and well hidden.I was totally devastated by this. she is on disability .She cant work or do the things that she loved to do. While I understand we didnt have the perfect marriage and living situations, I never saw this coming. Hi Andy I have been with my husband for 14 years.13 of them married. I apologize for this somewhat sloppy reply What To Do When Your Husband Abandons You? - bonobology.com Grass is not always greener and a lot of times they are then in a new relatioship only to wakeup one day and find they feel exactly the same as they did in the previous relationship .Talk to each other sort problems out no one is perfect dont badmouth the other person . I know you already got involved with child protect services but wonder if maybe if it comes from a teacher or the school system that might help you shine a light on whats going on in their house.I know its heartbreaking to think that your kids are exposed to such horrible parenting. Sounds familiar except mine was emotional abuse, yip, happened to me too, thank g i kept postponing the wedding date or id be stuck in an abusive marriage with a traumatized kid. I am in a long distance relationship and it is hard but I hope to move there next year Its gotten really wild and way more frequent! This just didnt happen in my family.