\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. You never know what to say or do; you are always walking on eggshells in order to avoid a volcanic explosion. Here are some of the possible causes for anger issues in relationships: Pooja emphasizes, An angry partner is often impatient and shows an unwillingness to listen to any contrary opinion. People tend to match each others volumes, pace, and general tone, so instead of meeting the angry person where he or she is atand escalating the situationtry to de-escalate the situation by subtly encouraging them to lower their voice. Summary. Controlling your emotions in a situation like this can be tough. Even if we do it in our heads, without acting it out, this negativity will almost certainly be communicated in a close relationship. Someone with anger issues is still an individual. A distraction can sometimes be exactly whats needed to stop someone in their angry tracks. When your partner experiences a lot of anger, it can be tough to deal withespecially if that anger is directed at you. If you are living with an angry husband and they have mouthed off and offended one of your friends or family members, do you quietly go to the person afterward and explain why your partner didnt really mean what they said and that they are really not that bad? You can say something on the lines of Hey, lets go for a walk. Driven by high standards of what they should get and what other people should do for them, the angry and resentful frequently feel disappointed and offended, which, in turn, causes more entitlement. If thats the case, plan to get up 15 minutes early and help them pack for work. One of the best tactics is to take a pause before reacting. Many of us have developed strategies for working through anger when it creeps up. By using our site, you agree to our. When we constructively deal with anger, it can lead to improved communication. Get Solution Oriented. (2020). This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. or have an angry partner, it is very important that you establish some firm boundaries. 1. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. So if you are wondering how to control anger in a relationship or how to deal with an angry spouse, then read on. Talk to a couples counselor if you need to. Gently stop the person and ask how you can help them feel less angry. But what is the root cause of rage issues in a relationship or marriage? Here are some common examples of anger triggers. Listen to what they have to say and empathize without agreeing with them. You can easily get stuck in a Pendulum of Pain when living with a resentful or angry person. It will trigger them to lash out even more. The second-biggest challenge in staying in a relationship with a resentful or angry person is trying to get him or her to change. How Do I Control My Anger Outbursts and Calm My Nerves? One can write or express anger in some form of performance art too. Related Reading: Emotional Flooding: What Does It Mean In A Relationship? Dont feel that you have to struggle alone. Emotional Flooding: What Does It Mean In A Relationship? If a religion cannot reduce anger-pride-deceit-greed (kashayas . An angry partner won't heal without becoming compassionate in order to break the hold of obstacles like victim identity and habitual blaming. So, giving your partner tips to calm down in the escalation phase or the crisis phase is just futile. You should stay away from them for a while or ask how to fix the problem with them. onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12214, Feeling Stuck? Causes And Signs, How To Overcome Codependency In Relationships. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. As research points out, this technique is common among dance movement therapists and body psychotherapists. Number Items. The first thing that comes to mind shouldnt be our default reaction because it could make things worse and lead to more problems in the long *run*. Role-play is often used so you can practice recognizing the thoughts that make you angry and applying more positive thoughts instead. Dont give them a reason to lash out at you anymore than they already have. Once you know what they need, you can work with them to develop positive and proactive solutions. When dealing with anger from someone close to us, we often become defensive which only makes the situation worse. Display empathy in a way that makes the other person feel better no matter how bad the situation is. It is killing them from the inside. What To Do If You Are Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner? When angry feelings are expressed, it instills a lot of negativity but if you handle it with love and respect, the energy between you and your partner is sure to change to better. (2012). This can help you remain calm and avoid becoming agitated to more easily handle the other persons behavior. After all, anger can be quite contagious. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. We may quickly and perhaps harshly react rather than take a moment to consider our response. People can be angry without being physically aggressive, of course. While only about 10% of anger experiences lead to aggression, its crucial to remain safe. Protecting your own mental health is a sign of self-love. When its time for your opinion, present it calmly and rationally rather than in the heat of the moment. An extremely inconsiderate person who. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Also, remember that your job is not to change your partner or fix them. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. In fact, just helping the other person feel heard and understood can sometimes go a long way toward the resolution of a conflict. Related Reading: Verbal Abuse In Relationships: Signs, Effects And How To Cope. Take a step back and look at things objectively. Do think about your own behavior This is where you need to be brutally honest with yourself. This can also help ease their anger and create calm by shifting their attention from negative feelings to positive action. Period. Emotionally, I have keenly observed and experienced inconsistencies in relationships, in my own life and around me while growing up. If you grew up in an angry home, it is easy to blame yourself for another. If you are looking for tips on how to deal with an angry boyfriend/partner, the most important one is trying to find out the underlying reason behind their anger. Its not easy to go through what you are going through, Repeating calm words to themselves like Relax or Take it easy, Saying I would like instead of I demand or I must have, Slowing down and thinking before answering, Touching something comforting (and feeling the fabric on their skin), Take care of yourself through yoga/meditation or even a cup of tea or going for a swim (you can only be a safe space for someone else if youre grounded enough), You can also say, I get that you are upset. Were also less likely to hold grudges and harbor resentment when we communicate openly and honestly. The feeling of anger: From brain networks to linguistic expressions. Obviously, the way to respond to different anger expressions will differ. If you partner is willing to work on them and you wish to help them, check out these 10 tips of how to deal with an angry partner or how to handle a spouse with rage: Want to learn the secret of how to deal with an angry husband or how to deal if the wife has anger issues? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 13,684 times. Some yell, scream, swear, or insult others. It's important to keep in mind that people don't always know how their actions affect others. Most importantly, to deal with angry person healthily allows us to feel heard and understood by others something we all crave at some point or another.